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Accepting the truth

chrome toy web cam
the many faces of Valerie, courtesy of WebcamToy for google chrome


I feel like the universe has been teaching me a lesson this past year or so. You can have it all, just not all at the same time. For me, I can’t even have some of it, I can barely hang on to 2-3 ITs. Last summer what I could have was work and my health. I super focused on slimming down and losing almost 40lbs and was working super extra hard to get a specialist role and promotion nearly in the same month which paid off- at the cost of this blog and my photography.  When school started in January and my new position got crazier at work my health fell by the wayside and blogging or photographing anything was the last thing on my mind. I’ve now gained a few pounds back and school is nearing its end for the summer and I couldn’t be happier that I get to have part of my life back, if only for a few months. I really do wonder how some people ‘have it all’ even though I know they probably don’t or there’s something in their life they are missing out on. I wish I could be hyper-focused on a million things at once but I’ve learned to just accept myself the way I am, this is me. This is how I roll. Id probably have a million panic attacks or be homicidal if i tried juggling any more than I can handle now. For now I’m content with rotating priorities in my life. Health, Photography, School, Work.

So long story short, hi. I’m back for now and its bike month which for my morbid self means I’m super inspired to shoot some ghost bikes and bring awareness to road sharing safely. See you around!


Ps. Its also burger month and I plan on eating many of those, protein style please.  :)

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a lot can change in 90 days

some fitspiration via

90. Its a large number. Its almost 100. In terms of days of the year, that’s a quarter of it. And that’s about how long I’ve been mentally checked out around this blog. I apologize. But on the plus side, in the last 90 days I’ve completely changed my life.
In 90 days I’ve:

  • managed to learn to cook meat (yes I had never cooked raw meat in my apartment before).
  • worked out an average of about 5 days a week (usually 6 but there were some weeks when it was less).
  • learned so many things about nutrition and fitness (ex: doing cardio after strength training, or what a recovery window is)
  • learned so many things about myself, what I’m capable of, what my body needs, what I need to be happy.
  • stopped feeding my body absolute crap.
  • cut down the drinking. (not that I was really a drinker before, but now I’m a bit more selective)
  • stopped emotional eating. (had a bad day? why not reward yourself for surviving with a  cheeseburger? wrong! so wrong!!! you’re not a bitch, don’t reward yourself with food like you do a dog!)
  • learned I love things like protein bars, shakes, powder and they’re actually good for you too if chosen wisely, and not just for bodybuilders.
  • learned how to prioritize things in my life beginning with the basics, like health and mental clarity.
  • inspired multiple friends, family, and coworkers and motivated a few of them to spring into action in their own lives and get healthier
  • started to reverse my aging process, or so I’d like to think i look younger now that i’m healthier.

The best thing about the past 90 days is that I began to finally become who I’ve been working on being for a L O N  G time. I see her. When I look in the mirror I catch a glimpse of the person I want to be in my eyes. She’s there, she’s ready and waiting patiently for me to meet my goals. But for the first time in almost 6 years I see her again, when I thought I’d never see her again. It feels good. It feels DAMN good to be coming into my own finally. I’ve always been a late bloomer in pretty much every aspect except my boobs.

And the icing to my delicious [healthy] cake? At this point I’ve lost 24 pounds (probably more by the time you’re all reading this). I’ve lost 5 inches on my waist alone and 4 on the worst part of my ‘pansa’ (gut). I’ve dropped an entire CATEGORY on the BMI chart. I’ve lost several Body Fat percentage points.  I’m wearing clothes I haven’t worn in over 3 years. I’m finally feeling like myself again and it feels good. I’ve got another 6 months of really hard work ahead of me until I reach my goal but being a 3rd way in and on track feels great and I had to share what I’ve been up to lately.

Honestly I don’t feel THAT bad for neglecting my artistic side the past 3 months because I’ve been working on my healthy side and getting things back in order so that I can be fully dedicated to doing what I love to do without getting winded, or being lazy.

But I’m back.

I wanted to say hi,
and that I’ve missed you all.

If you want to know how I’m doing all of this, you can find me on or follow me on twitter.

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Music Monday: my workout playlist

So if any of you follow me on twitter you might have noticed that I’ve been working out lately and eating right (and seeing results). Its partially the reason I’ve been blogging less lately, that and being too broke to process any rolls, anyway. I fell off the healthy living bandwagon hardcore after I moved into my new place so I’m really glad to be back on the right track to being young forever (seriously my goal is to look as young as possible for as long as possible). Anyway I finally got tired of my dubstep pandora station during my workouts and recently complied a few of my favorite motivating songs to work out to. Here are a few of them :)

[WARNING: will cause booty shaking]

CSS – “Believe Achieve”

Gwen Stefani – “What You Waiting For” (i only posted the extended version because i love the story lol)

Peaches – “Boys Wanna Be her”

Bonde Do Rolê – “Dança Do Zumbí”

The Faint – “Worked Up So Sexual”