Tag: portfolio development

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I wish they made maps for life.

scenic route

Saying I’ve been in a rut would be putting what I’ve been in, lightly. Whatever it is that I’ve been in, it hasn’t been fun and I’m not quite sure where I’m going now or how I’ll get there- I’m lost. I’m learning very quickly that I’m just not good at some things. School. Balancing life/work/health/education all at once, while retaining my sanity. Definitely not good at coping with extreme stress. I’m not great at being consistent.

The only things I’ve ever been good at are photography, and getting back up after being knocked down. I guess you could say that though I lack focus at times and change my mind often, I am persistent about rebounding from my failures, and oh boy have I failed lately. I’m finding myself basically back at square one in almost every aspect of my life and its really hard to be back here. Its kind of like being a drug addict returning to AA/NA after relapsing, relapsing so hard you can barely lift your head to speak of your struggle.

That is where I am right now. I’m trying to get back up and keep fighting for what I want out of life, although right now I’m not quite sure what that means for me. I guess right now it means focusing on surviving, maybe even thriving at work and picking up the camera again and remembering what I love about life, and being here in the moment. Sorry this post is so vague I just don’t really want to bore anyone with my whiney problems, trust me- my fb & twitter pals hear me bitch enough about my shitty situations lately. I just wanted to post and say although I don’t really feel like getting back up and trudging along, I am going to- because I have to, for my own sanity I have to.

<3

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160: Nine & Ten

nine
ten

I feel like I should have something more profound to say about this post but really, I’m still searching for answers when it comes to matters so dark. Every time I turn my attention towards this project there are so many unanswered questions that hopefully as I continue to research I can begin to answer. This was only the beginning of this project I still have so much to do, learn, read, research. I’m glad I could share these images with you all though and I do hope that they serve as reminder that life is so beautifully precious and fragile. Please don’t take your life for granted.

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160: Seven & Eight

Often we pass things on the road without even thinking twice about what we have passed. This is one of those places that I can’t pass without looking and thinking about anymore. Its in a stretch of beautiful highway in the delta that curves through some orchards and if you blink you may miss it. I don’t really think I need to explain how sad this is because the pictures speak for themselves. Life is so precious and we need to honor the gift we’ve been given by living a great life and trying to stay safe out in this dangerous world.

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160: Three & Four

“Most of them just go in the river, and they don’t come out.” – volunteer firefighter for Clarksburg, CA

While in the early stages of this project I was growing impatient with the outcome of my research so I decided I would try to talk to some locals or firefighters, sheriffs, really anyone who could tell me more about these stories. I had the small opportunity to talk to a volunteer firefighter for Clarksburg which is one of the bigger towns along this stretch of river. He was telling me how a couple of his high school classmates met an early fate here at the river road and how it had impacted him as a young person and I suppose I should have known better than to ask this but I asked what usually happens since hes one of the first people on the scene when these tragedies occur. He simply stated “Most of them just go in the river and don’t come out.” That was pretty much the thing that shut me up and thanked him for his time. I felt bad for prying out of curiosity and clearly he didn’t want to say more. I definitely learned to be a bit more cautious and respectful when researching these things, I can’t even imagine what people must go through.

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160: One & Two

While doing some initial research for this project I came across some statistics. In 2010 32,885 lives were claimed by roads. This is unfortunately the lowest rate on record since at least 1994 when the database began recording*.

This means that roughly 100 lives are lost to a car accident a day.

Thats 3 souls per hour or more.

Thats 3 families an hour that will never see their loved one again.

These roadside memorials are only a fraction of that. If that isn’t a sobering statistic, I’m not sure what is.

*http://www.nhtsa.gov