Tag: spiritual awakening

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It all started with a rock

It was a hot evening in May of 2020. I had just moved back home with my parents due to the pandemic and having my salary halved. I was scrolling through Instagram and a zodiac meme caught my eye. It suggested that the best crystal for a Virgo was pink optical calcite. I was immediately captivated and I couldn’t really explain why.

There are a few things I’m going to be referencing in future posts that you might not be familiar with. Divine timing is one of them. I have always been a “everything happens for a reason” person and this pink calcite impulse buy was no exception. Divine timing, if you’re not familiar with it, means that you’re right where you’re supposed to be at this very moment. I was meant to buy that calcite.

Spoiler alert: want to know what calcite does from a metaphysical standpoint? It clears energy blocks and opens you up to your higher consciousness… I had essentially poured kerosine into the fire that is my curiosity for all things metaphysical and spiritual.

You see, my family has a long history with being blessed with spiritual gifts. The women in my family on my moms side have this really strong psychic connection as well (a whole other post coming on that). Maybe its a culture thing or a my family thing but the occult and metaphysical never really scared me because in Mexican culture those things coexist with Catholicism and we generally embrace the spiritual world and honor our dead. My mom, a born-again Christian disagrees with this but she’s been trying her best to understand what I’m going through and where I’m coming from when we have our morning coffee chats.

With the rise of #witchtok on Tiktok during lockdown, I was no exception to this and fell in deep. But the irony is that these were things I had already had interest in and led me more towards my spirituality (less so witchcraft, although many people would label me a witch now). By the fall I had decided I want to try my hand at tarot reading, mostly so I could connect in a more tangible two-way communication method with my spirit guides (more on that later).

By November, the messages were coming in super strong through my tarot and other synchronicities like repeating numbers, animal friends, relationship changes. I could no longer deny the pull by the new year and it showed up in every area of my life including work. I ended up being fired from my job because my heart was no longer in it and it showed. Unfortunately for me, this happened literally a day after I had been approved for my first-time homebuyer loan.

But now I’m in a safe space to grow, I have a solid savings, I have skills, I have drive, I have a purpose. Now its my full time job to figure out how to move forward for my higher purpose and I finally have the means to do that. So here we go, join me while I reinvent myself for the 48579th time.

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To hell and back in a year

Where do I even begin? Like most, 2020 has been a doozy. 2019 really kicked it off for me though, so we’ll start there.

In the later half of 2019 we uprooted and moved to East Oakland so I could be closer to my new job in SF. The apartment was fantastic, but the neighborhood was rough as expected, our cars were broken into, people shot in the street in front of us, the whole stereotypical East Oakland experience. Then around thanksgiving my boyfriends mom died suddenly, and I was laid off by my job (with severance thankfully). New Years Eve 2019-2020 I found myself wishing that 2020 would bring in a new year for my personal growth.

Be careful what you wish for.

By the end of Feb I finally was hired on at a new exciting startup changing the lives of many. Finally, a company with a soul and a clean purpose. Two weeks into enjoying a reason to put on pants and makeup again the pandemic hit and the first major lockdown happened. I was working from home suddenly so I did what every normal millennial does and stocked up on office supplies and a printer for the first time in years.

2 more weeks into that and I get the devastating news that in order to preserve our startup runway funding, we’re all taking pay cuts instead of being laid off. My pay was reduced by 75% and I no longer could afford living in the bay area. So we started making plans to move back to Sacramento with my family until we could get financially stable again. $3600 later and less a couch, we were back in Sacramento squeezing our king sized bed, two humans, and a dog into my parent’s spare bedroom.

To say this felt like a low point would be an understatement. But don’t worry it gets lower. After months, possibly years of deliberation, my bf and I called it quits on our relationship of 4 years. Initially it was mutual and amicable, but as these things go on hurt is uncovered. I’m not sure if we’ll ever be friends again which is unfortunate but I understand the hurt and the why.

So here I am again, single dog mom at 35 living at home with my parents while I am saving to buy my first home because the idea of paying $3600 ever again to a landlord is absurd.

I can’t leave you like this though. There is a huge upside to all of this. Moving back home changed something in me, maybe the pressure of being here without privacy 247 or the pressure of the pandemic which is affecting us all. I discovered a new side to myself. I have spent the last 6 months undergoing the most intense spiritual awakening of my life and for that, I am so grateful for. More on that later.

Also, I’m happy to report my salary has stabilized a bit and I’ve been saving money like crazy for a down payment on a house.

So there you have it. A quick recap on the fuckery that has been my last 12 months. I have no expectations for 2021 at this point.