Whats that old saying? A goal without a plan is just a wish? Yeah, well I was reminded of that shortly after announcing La Mariposa League (LML).
When I first thought of creating LML I knew I’d need a robust social media content schedule. I knew I’d need to gather resources to share, and do a lot of work to get it out there and gain traction. What I didn’t know, is that as soon as I announced an official launch date (giving myself a buffer to plan this all out), I would be reassigned to a new team at work which completely blew up any available bandwidth I had to take on any after hours passion projects.
One thing I’ve learned about myself in this season of life (read: post-burnout recovery) is that in order to thrive, I need a delicate balance of intellectual stimulation, a creative energy outlet, and work that does not drain my social battery or mental energy.
For me, being new to state service has been so mentally challenging and draining. I do not enjoy being new and not knowing things, especially when everything is basically in a foreign language to me. I went from working the private tech industry to the public sector. Apple and Google environment to PC and Microsoft environment. That alone was jarring enough, let alone having to understand the new extremely political landscape I am working in and staring down the barrel of a YEAR-long probationary period. Switching teams for me was a shake up that was ill-timed. Immediately, all of my mental load was at capacity because I was wrapping up projects and handing them off and then also ramping up to work in a new area of the department with all new people, personalities, and tools. The thing about my department, and I’m not sure if this is true of all state agencies, is that its extremely difficult for an “outsider” like myself to understand who to ask for what or go to for something, information, etc. Working in a cross-functional role as I am, I pretty much rely on relationships with others to get things moving which means I am constantly asking around for information and getting redirected. Its so mentally exhausting being the new person and extremely humbling because I quickly realized everything I knew about tech and the software development lifecycle no longer applied here. EVERYTHING is done differently, and for the most part, for good reasons. There are simply too many players, too many regulations, and too high of a litigation risk to operate as a private tech firm would. I’m getting off-track.
All of this is to say, I had no energy left at the end of the day for weeks on end after this team change. Then summer hit and all I wanted to do was be on the lake on my paddleboard in my free time- which I did, and got an amazing tan btw. I also double-booked myself and had signed up sometime at the beginning of the year for a 7-week civic engagement course through my local city called Elk Grove 101. We met once a week for 7 weeks and went in depth on the inner workings of how the city operates – more on that in another post.
So TL;DR: I didn’t plan, mentally overtaxed myself, then enjoyed my summer.
The other thing I’ve learned about myself in this season of life is that I need to let go and stop shaming, guilting, or berating myself internally when I mess up, have to course-correct, or need to take time for myself. And honestly, thats the reason I waited this long to even publicly acknowledge my “failure to launch” with La Mariposa League. For the lack of communication to all 4 subscribers, my bad, sorry for that. Luckily I’m fairly certain I know all of you who signed up personally as friends so I’m sure you get it. I did not write this with the intention of gaining sympathy or making excuses, I simply thought you all deserved an explanation for my silence and inactivity.
Whats next for La Mariposa League?
Honestly, I’m still figuring that out. I signed up for yet another civic-engagement thing. Then its the holidays. My hope is to attempt to re-launch this project by my late grandma’s birthday in February. With a fully robust content rotation, actual action items, and a solid vision for the future. I am looking forward to setting aside dedicated time to thoughtfully plan out how I want to re-launch La Mariposa League, and I’m open to any and all feedback or suggestions as well.
If you made it this far, congrats, you’re a trooper and I love you.
Leave a Reply