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A lot changes in a decade…

Before I actually lived in downtown Sacramento I would visit it and just explore as a teenager. Between classes or when I had a night off and nothing to do, I would roam the streets of downtown and just take it all in. Having been dragged off to suburbia as a child and raised in what felt like the middle of nowhere, being downtown was an exciting cultural adventure for me. I remember one afternoon,  while going around and experimenting with my camera, I stumbled upon an empty parking lot that backed up to a cool abandoned warehouse. I took some photos around the empty lot and its building, which probably hadn’t been painted since the 50s, and then took a couple snaps of the top of that beautiful old warehouse.

The Historic Lawrence Warehouse, 11th & R streets, Circa 2004-2005
The Historic Lawrence Warehouse, 11th & R streets, Circa 2004-2005

Its 10 years later and I now live in that warehouse. I knew this warehouse looked familiar the second I saw the rooftop structure for the old water tanks. Somewhere deep in my very unorganized basket of negatives and their photos, I knew I had a photo of this building, which is now called the Warehouse Artists Lofts. I’m not sure if its kismet, coincidence, or just meant to be, but so many things lined up perfectly for me and this move. I literally found out about the opportunity to live here for cheap the night before the applications were due. The logo for the building is almost identical to something I made up for my own name when I was like 9, I used to sign all my art and stuff with that damn logo which was basically inspired by the FILA logo where all the letters were connected. That was the most embarrass thing I’ve ever typed, by the way. The final thing that makes me think this was totally meant to be, is this photo. There is something so weirdly historically awesome about living in a random warehouse I photographed a decade ago. I didn’t know that 10 years later that building would be dedicated to the artists of this town and become a historical landmark. I didn’t know that I would be a part of one of the biggest accomplishments for the Sacramento local arts scene. I am so in love with the history of this town and now I get to be a part of it. I get to experience it. I get to leave my mark on this city in one of the coolest ways ever.

Now my real work begins, I need to live up to what is expected of me here and I am terrified, because success is scary as hell, but I am also seriously excited to challenge myself and see what I come up with.

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Flashback Friday

Inspired by the latest twitter trends I figured I’d do a little flashback friday for myself. I stumbled upon a couple family pictures and wanted to share in the fun.

Monterey Bay Aquarium, 1986

That picture pretty much sums up me and my sisters relationship. I annoy her, and she reacts, haha.

my neice Emma

And in honor of my neice’s 13th birthday today, a picture of her when she was the cutest little kid ever. I miss her being that young, now shes a teenager.

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Flashback Friday, 2011 highlights

taken on my droid 2, on xmas eve

You’ve probably read a ton of these type of posts by now but I like lists and I like reflecting. What better way to do that than to highlight the best and most memorable moments of my year!

    • Joining VOX, the very first artist collective I ever belonged to.
    • selling my first print
    • stepping outside my comfort zone and going to dubstep shows
    • wearing shorts for the first time in years (since i was a teen) all summer long
    • summer dresses too!
    • hitting the 5 year single & still working at sbux mark- it was bittersweet, ha
    • saying “goodbye, i deserve better” to the fucked up situation that was my lovelife for the past 3 years.
    • seeing The Kills and having an amazing birthday month filled with drinks, family parties, a trip to my favorite city in the bay (Berkeley), and best friend time.
    • crossing sutro baths off my “to-shoot” photo list
    • taking tamale day into my own hands this year and making it a success!!
    • gaining some pretty awesome followers
    • celebrating the little victories in life…

What have you done or experienced this year that deserves a mention?? Leave a comment, I’m curious to see what you guys have been up to.

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inspiration comes from within

I have this board that I’ve had for a while now, some number of years, I’ve gradually added to it. It started out as something to remind me of who I am (I don’t know why I thought I needed reminding, my personality is pretty strong lol) but has quickly turned into a board of things past, good and bad, but the past none the less. I recently rediscovered this beautiful journal I used to keep, with a polaroid and a journal entry, but all its filled with is stories of my pain and how I’ve tried to overcome it. The truth is I never got over any of the pain written down in there until way after, until I stopped writing about it.

first thing you see in the journal, my favorite spot at Loon Lake

Looking back now I cant imagine why I’d ever want to write it down, to memorialize all the heartache I’ve endured over my short 25 years. I already lived it, why write it down? Its not like I’ll ever forget what I lived through, its ingrained in my memory forever and so are the lessons I’ve learned.

written when I thought I had hit rock bottom, oh boy was I wrong! lol

Lately I’ve really been struggling to go the next step in my life. I have a general idea of where I want to go but I’ve been stuck in the same place for a couple months now, and I don’t like it. Sure I’ve taken baby steps and have been trying new things, but its not enough for me. I need to think bigger, dream bigger. I want to redirect my old journals filled with horrible times in my life I went through and fill those pages with everything I want to do, my hopes, my dreams, and my plans to help get me to them. I want to look into the future, not reflect on the past. I think that’s whats been holding me back for so long, honestly.

The board has got to go. I used to think it was an inspiration board but its the exact opposite. I want to fill it with the things I want to accomplish, motivational things to help me keep at it. Tonight (last night by the time you read this) I started on the board, taking things down and sorting them into 2 piles: Trash the Past and Inspiration.

this is known as back to square one

Now that I’m starting out with a pretty much blank slate, I have to ask myself, what now? Where do I go from here? And how am I going to get there? We shall see. All I know for sure is today, I’m leaving the past where it is and not looking back anymore, its only holding me back.

time to fill the pages of my life with happiness
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Flashback Friday: lessons from drinking with the Navy

The summertime always reminds me of the summer I spent driving to Hantucky (Hanford, Ca) and back for hangouts/UFC nights with my “Sees” Krystal and her cousin and his Navy friends.  I learned many lessons like:

  1. Don’t drink with the Navy.
  2. If you are stupid enough to engage them in drinking games, make sure you win.
  3. Don’t try to wrestle them, they will always win.
  4. Jager Bombs are only meant to be consumed between rounds of UFC fights.
  5. Don’t go to bars that serve alcoholic beverages in mason jars… with Navy peeps.

It was a fun summer, there were a lot of weekend mornings where I drove back to Elk Grove seriously hungover, windows down, music blaring just so I could survive the 3 hour drive home. Sadly, the summer took a turn for the worst when Krystal’s cousin Martin passed away in a tragic accident that late September. This picture is from the drive back from the funeral in Soledad.

Highway 198

Rest in peace Martin, MDK til we die.